To tell or not to tell?

I am one of those people who can't keep the news of my pregnancy to myself.  Many of you who read it will think me foolish (especially considering the risk), but I don't want to miss a moment of joy by being cautious.

Image: Tina Phillips

My inability to keep my mouth shut about the pregnancies also meant that I had a lot more people to tell when I miscarried, and that was difficult.  Whenever I shared the news, I felt as though I was disappointing the people I told, and it made my own disappointment that much more acute.  Even worse was when I forgot to tell someone, and they'd cheerfully ask me how the baby was when we met up again (when my guard was down, that sort of thing would make me tearful and awkward and could set me back emotionally, depending on my frame of mind at that moment).

So, with the help of my best friend, we devised a system to break the news of my miscarriages.  I'd tell her, and she'd spread the word, telling my friends to spread the word to everyone.  Yes, it meant that everyone knew, but they were all supportive, and it meant those moments where people would congratulate me after I'd miscarried were much rarer.  Also, it allowed me to go out and distract myself by socialising without fear of awkwardness which, for me, was much healthier than sitting at home wondering why this had happened.

At the end of the day, it is important to do what works for you - whether that means you share, or not.  Just know that the people around you support you in the best way they can, even though that means they put their foot in it sometimes.  They're disappointed for you, because you deserve more, not disappointed in you.